I have always wanted to be able to speak a foreign language. Now, I know many of you believe I speak a foreign language already, what with my country sayin’s and what not. Be that as it may, I’m talkin’ about a language such as Spanish, German, Italian…, heck; even bein’ able to talk New England or Midwest slang would be okay with me.

If I am to be honest, though, it looks like “Southerese” is gonna be my limit.

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In case you missed last week's article, I've been tryin' to educate some of the folks who may find it difficult understanding the how's and why's of Louisiana natives.  The entire world knows we are a wee bit different, what with our spicy foods, strong drink, and colorful language.  So, being the nice guy I am, I have elected to pass on to you some of my education and experiences.

Speaking of what we eat and drink, a Louisiana native refers to any soft drink, carbonated water, soda, soda pop, or cola, as Coke.  For example, "What flavor Coke you want?  Orange, grape or strawberry?"

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The following has been picked up from many different sources, includin’ the experience of livin’ the life of a Louisiana native. Now, I’ve stated many times that my dominoes may be missin’ a spot or two, and that there are plenty of people in the world who are, by far, more intelligent than I'll ever be.  They use all kinds of $4.00 words and impress others with their knowledge.  Be that as it may, I'm not overly impressed.  Why?  Well, you gotta know the meanin’ of the $4.00 word in order to be impressed, ain’t cha?

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One hot summer day, waaay back when my only concerns were occupying my time with something fun to do, I found myself playin' around our hay barn. I'm pretty sure I was in my Tarzan mode, fightin' off rabid lions and man-killin’ rinoseruses...., ryenoser..., man-killin’ monkeys.

One particularly large lion, eyes filled with fire and steam comin' from his nostrils, seemed intent on makin’ a lunch outta me. As he crouched to leap in for the kill, I grabbed a piece of wood and cracked it over his noggin’ when he was in mid-leap. This, of course, didn't kill him, but stunned him long enough for me to pull my rusty..., er, my trusty knife, and commence stabbin’ him to death.

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